Temper, Temper

Where has this temper within me come from????

In the past week I have found a raging temper within myself that turns a toddler-tantrum in to a full house melt down.

It begins around 3pm each day, Hayden should really be down for a nap or at least watching a show or doing SOMETHING ALONE to give us BOTH some down time, but he has sworn off naps and won't stay alone for he just might fall asleep. Typically we have had a full day around the house getting my to-do list checked off and having a pleasant time together when all of a sudden, there is a whine, a whimper, a screech from Hayden that immediately sends me over the edge. He proceeds to melt-down with a full out wail that can not be contained and is unnecessary. The more I try to console, the more he screams. I can't take it. I then melt-down feeling overwhelmed with the need to correct his behavior. I try to give him time-out, he screams louder. I try everything I know and he continues until he then wakes his sister. She then joins in with screeching and tears. The roof on our house is falling in as we are in full melt-down. The scenario ends with me being so furious that I can't see straight and I finally go in to warp mode of cleaning or sorting something, in which I can focus on the task and not react or give attention to the screaming that follows at my ankles. After time the screaming ends and we all stop our crying, sit together, hug and get back on track full of love and play.

On my knees I fall with my head in prayer for what I need is guidance from the Lord. He shows me that it is my responsibility to get control, be of good temperament, be in balance, give discipline, teach Independence, show love, learn patience and always be a student of the Holy Spirit and never giving the devil a foothold in the situation by allowing any excuse for the behavior I have been displaying (as described above). My tantrum actions and reactions are completely ungodly, non-excusable and very human --- praise the Lord, for He CAN and WILL and IS changing me and am becoming a true woman of God; becoming a mother who finds strength, patience and balance through the Holy Spirit; becoming a manager of a home leading the whole team to victory by following the Lord's way and not the world's.

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Thanksgiving for the grace of the Lord.