Where Are the Business Trips for a Stay-at-Home Momma?

A trying two year old - multiple break downs - spankings - crying fits... after this weekend I'm really wondering how long I'll have this job? I'm thinking I need to fire myself from this stay-at-home mommy job. Maybe my qualifications weren't as lined up for the job as I had previously thought when hired on. I'm thinking I need one of those corporate business trips to take some training courses. You know, the 'have to go to' work trips that are held in a swanky hotel out in Vegas where the training is three days long, where only half a day is business and the other half is sipping cold ones, eating fabulous food and laying by a pool - all on the corporate account?! What do you have to do to get your boss to set up one of these said trips? Can't anyone see that I need some extra training to continue to grow in my current position and rise to the top?! ... Anyone else out there working in the same position as I (stay-at-home-momma) know where the sign-up sheet is for said training? What is the schedule and where is the locale? I'm up for about anything! *grin*

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Thanksgiving for the ability to stay home with my little ones, even in the most trying of times.